#problembed child

[i-trappedinice]

A CLOCK IN THE DISTANCE. THE TIME TICKS.. OVER. AND OVER.

He's been still for so long, He cant feel anything anymore, The cold is numb to him.

Cracks..Shards are falling, Its about time. The numbness fades..He needs to get used to this.

How long has it been? He wonders.

THE COUNTDOWN ENDS. HE'S FREE ONCE MORE..

This is specifically a;

Itrapped [ FORSAKEN VER. ] ask blog!!! (This is not associated with the devs, as itrapped has since been scrapped.) There WILL still be mentions of the other exploiters, Ellernate will be mentioned the most. (Hes even answering asks!!!!)

I am educated that the lore has been scrapped. nonetheless my thought process does not change. And he is Here.

BOUNDARIES + GENRAL INFO BELOW

↓↓

Rulez;;

1 . Be civil, and be patient. I usually respond to asks immediately! unless i am asleep and or dont have tumblr open.. If i dont have tumblr open! I will still see the ask, but i will not respond immediately !

2 . No nsfw . I don't think this one needs to be explained..

3 . Please dont spam the inbox please oh my god this has happened with my other blogs, if you do this i will end up closing the inbox for a period of time..

thats all of the rules !!

GENERAL INFORMATION;;

This blog WILL be headcannoned, not much, but it'll still be there!

Will interact with other blogs OFTEN. or just lurking around the chance ask blogs.

You will know when Itrapped is speaking with his text color. mee:33 the mod! just talks liek htis. No text color!

Itrapped speech examplez;;

Sending asks;; text text

Responding to an ask;; {{" Text text "

Rp response is the same as responding to an ask.

Action example;;

{{ Action }}

Rps are also VERY allowed !!! idm them and i will infact start them. Because i am so sigma/J

Tags under cut !

So many tags..im going to explode

#frozen to be forgotten -- Responding to an ask

#shouldve been left behind -- interacting with an elliot

#couldve done more -- interacting with a builderman

#false promises false attempts -- interacting with a Shedletsky/Telamon

#shouldve dealt with me sooner -- interacting with a doombringer

#your divinity is nothing to me -- interacting with a dusekkar

#youre one of the reasons -- interacting with a taph

#i remember you all too well -- interacting with an 007n7/118o8

#problembed child -- interacting with a coolkidd/bluudude

#whyd you fight -- interacting with a guest 1337/Matt

#damned cultist -- interacting with a twotime

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#i wish i did it sooner -- ?

#wish i never knew you -- ¿

#modz tricks -- my yapping

#i dont owe you anything -- mafioso. Self explanatory.

[polkadot-octopus-blog]

Am I Sick, Selfish, or Masochistic?

Often times i wonder. "What's wrong with me?" "Why am I different than everyone else?" Everyone else has people who love them. I have people who love me. I think. But, my Brain tells me otherwise. "You havent amounted to anything." "Look at them. They have real. LIVES." I try to push it down. I ask a friend. "Am I worth it? Do you love me?" Most say. "Of course i do!" Followed by, "Why wouldnt I?" "Is something wrong?" I usually say, " Oh, its okay. Just a little lonely. Thats all" how do i tell them, i live in a body that tortures me? How do i say, "my brain said, that you didnt" how does that not sound crazy? Am I Sick? Then i think, "You are just lonely. You dont have a boyfriend, but you have friends." "You grew up alone. A only child." Am i really that desperate for attention that i would ask just a question to make others worry? I asked a friend. "Do you think I'm mature?" One said "You can be serious when i need you to be." But they were already upset with their own problems. They were scared of losing their house. But i was scared too. I wanted the fear to go away. I was scared, and wanted them to comfort me. Am I Selfish? The tears fall. "Your problems arent the only ones." 'I know.' "Why did you bother them then? They might lose their house, and you're worried about wether or not you're mature?" "You worry about such little things. Little. Meaningless things, that wont amount in the long run. Seriously. Have you gone to college? What happened there? Oh i know. You fucked around in school, and screwed yourself over." 'You're right.' "Now you work at a store were money is all that matters. Your hopes and dreams mean nothing. Grow up. Life is hard and dreams are crushed every day." Every night. My mind reminds me of facts like this. Failures. Rules and facts of life. How miniscule all this is in comparison to life or death situations. It hurts. I cry. But again. At night. In this place i find comfort. Is also turmoil. Am I Masochistic? I dont want to be sick. I dont want to be selfish. I dont want to be masochistic. I dont want to go. I dont want to be a dissappointment. I dont want to cause problems. I just want. To be more. I want to be a source of light. A source of pride, for others. A source of joy, in times of sadness. But in the end. Nothing changes. It comes back to the stale. Stagnant life i lead. Repetition. Monotony. Shoulder others problembs because all your problems really truly dont exsist. "Thats all they'll ever be. Is. In. Your. Head."